Day 1

Dear Diary,

Just woke up and it’s quiet. Too quiet. Eerily quiet. 

And dark. Eerily dark. Too dark.

The silence is broken by my wife’s voice, 

“Are you gonna sleep all day? Are you going to get this apocalypse even started?”

The silence now broken I open my eyes. 

Yep, not dark anymore either. 

Let’s get on with the apocalypse.

Something is afoot. Something dire. Something eerily dire.

“Ken!!! Enough with the melodrama!” my wife interrupts my journaling again. “Are you writing an apocalypse journal or a movie for the Lifetime channel?”

Ahem…where was I…

Ah, yes, dire. People around the world are starting to drop, drop like flies. Probably from cardio.

Governor says to stay inside, turn out your lights and hide. Stay away from people for fourteen days. Yep, fourteen days, that should about do it. I guess cardio cannot find you in the dark.

“But how will we survive”, I ask. “What will we eat? How will we make gains and amazing gym videos for Instagram?” This is sounding direr by the moment.

“Cake. You will eat cake,” the governor retorts at my insolence. “And stop with all that Instagram nonsense. People are dropping like flies. You are part of the problem!” 

I wanted to correct him that I was, in fact, lifting not cardioing and thus most definitely not part of the problem. But he seemed intent on putting an end to cardio once and for all, so I kept my corrections to myself.

Also, my shouting at the governor on the tv screen was starting to irriatate my wife. 

Well folks, hang on, it’s likely to be a long and bumpy fourteen days!

* APOCALYPSE UPDATE *

The CDC has just reported that a good apocalypse will cure the The Virus! My wife, however, has informed me that there is no lifting during an apocalypse. Is this true?

Author: Ken Gack

Ken did survive the appocolypse and go on to share his many harrowing and made up exploits during those dark times!