Beardly Fiction’s Journal for the End of the World
Follow us as we document the collapse of society!
Just woke up and it’s quiet. Too quiet. Eerily quiet.
And dark. Eerily dark. Too dark.
The silence is broken by my wife’s voice,
“Are you gonna sleep all day? Are you going to get this apocalypse even started?”
Author: Ken Gack, the Ripper
March 1, 2020
I’ve been doing some research on this apocalypse thing, and I’ve assembled a set of rules for your apocalypse survivaling:
Rule Number 1: Cardio. Umm…uhh…let’s skip past this one. Ok?
Author: Ken Gack, the Ripper
March 3, 2020
I don’t make the rules I just…ok…I made these up…
“Just a spoon full of common sense keeps the zombies away, the zombies away, la lalala la la”
No nudes yet. I think <cough><cough> I’m coming down with something.
Author: Ken Gack, the Ripper
March 5, 2020
Ole Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard…
“The cupboards are bare, there are no nudes. This apocalypse can be quite trying at times!”
Things are getting desperate…
Author: Ken Gack, the Ripper
March 8, 2020
Cardio day [Rule Number One].
Planned on skipping cardio day. Again.
Author: Ken Gack, the Ripper
March 9, 2020
How many zombies you bench, bro?
“I was on the edge of my seat. I was sure he had had it this time!”
The curve has not flattened.
If I read their charts correctly, the CDC is quite certain we are all going to die.
Author: Ken Gack, the Ripper
The Ides of March, 2020
Stick Girlfriend and I got into a huge fight.
She loaded the toilet paper with the roll under, like a savage. I told her she was a psychopath and changed the roll to over.
Author: Ken Gack, the Ripper
March 21, 2020
Obviously everyone knows TP goes on with the roll over!
“It’s a battle of wills with a made up nude woman. Who will win?”
This load of toilet paper got wiped out.
A tractor-trailer hauling a shipment of the hot coronavirus commodity crashed near Dallas early on Wednesday…
Author: Ken Gack, the Ripper
April 1, 2020
When I say the TP goes ‘Roll Over’, this is NOT what I mean!
“Real life, stranger than fiction!”
A typical apocalypse morning. My wife issued my quarantine ration: a square and a half of toilet paper and three coffee beans…
Author: Ken Gack, the Ripper
April 4, 2020
Never skip leg day; you never know when it will save your butt!
“Very gritty episode [beans should have been ground better…]”
I think this is it folks, this might be the end. Woke up in pain, everything hurts. Tried to move, pain jolted through my entire body. Crawled to the edge of my bed, rolled onto the floor with a THUD…
Author: Ken Gack, the Ripper
April 10, 2020
It was a St. Leg Day Massacre!
“The suspense built throughout the journal entry. Would he survive this catastrophic leg day?”