Day 59

Dear Diary,

Things are looking bad today. Again. Mouth tastes like a bottle of tequila took a… leak…ed into my mouth.

Crawled to the coffee pot, but found it dry. Some office dick drank the last cup and did not make a fresh pot! And by office, I mean my basement. 

Accused wife of being the culprit, but she replied “Coffee? Eww, gross!” and made stabbing motions in my general direction.

She has issues.

Must have been son, since he’s the only other person here in the…office. Asked why he didn’t make a new pot. He just stood there sipping his fruit punch Rockstar, eyeing me like I have issues.

Maybe not.

Wife’s puppy, Lenny can’t reach the coffee pot. And he doesn’t have opposable thumbs. Probably not Lenny.

Who’s the dick who keeps drinking my coffee?

Yet another unsolved mystery.

Author: Ken Gack

Ken remains suspicious of Lenny. If he can light a cigar and drink a cup of coffee, he can damn well start another pot.