Day 1,000
Dear Diary,
Recovering from a post-pie-day food hangover. Crawled out of bed, stumbled to the bathroom, stepped on the scale.
“You’re fat.”
I hopped off the scale, took a deep breath and stepped back on.
“Still fat.’”
Well fuck, I want a second opinion.
Stepped in front of the mirror.
“Fucking fat.”
Goddammit!
“And old.”
“Still fat.”
Well fuck, I want a second opinion.
* APOCALYPSE UPDATE *
The CDC reports that you are fat.
Author: Ken Gack
Ken Gack is NOT fat, goddammit!
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