Day 1,007

Dear Diary,

Bad news friends, bad news. Stick Girlfriend has found some old 80s Jane Fonda tapes and has now been inspired to reinstitute Rule Number 1. 

She says it’s because she has acknowledged the tremendous growth I’ve experienced since this apocalypse began and now wants to better herself as well…wait…

Hold on a sec… What was that hon?

Oh yeah, she says I’ve gotten fat.

Rule Number 1 has been reinstated.

Please pray for me. Dial 9-1 and stand by.

Author: Ken Gack

Ken has started his first 80s cardio session with Stick Girlfriend and says to go ahead, finish dialing 9-1-1 and get them rolling.