Day 9
Dear Diary,
Cardio day [Rule Number One].
Planned on skipping cardio day. Again.
I mean, it’s an apocalypse for fuck’s sake. Who follows rules during an apocalypse.
And cardio is stupid.
Was chased by zombies. Zombies don’t skip cardio day. They wanted my brains and kept screaming “Put your mask on, you buffoon!”
Almost died.
Cardio is hardio.
“Planned on skipping cardio day. Again…”
Author: Ken Gack
Ken believes cardio is stupid. He has requested we change rule number one to:
- Never leave your wing man.
- Never pick a wingman who does cardio.
- Feed your wingman donuts.
We believe, however, that this would be in direct violation of rule number ten. Whatever rule ten is.
Note: Refer to journal day 3 for a refresher on Apocalypse Rules. Which nobody follows.
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